Dream

Dream

　

Waking up slowly piecing together my crazy dream: I owned a small house outside of town, one bedroom, scratch that, is that a lake? A lake house with a great room, well it’s a mansion now with a dock on the lake and boats. Soon I realize that the property extends to a restaurant, theater and radio studio. This property keeps expanding and soon I am a very successful business woman. At one point in the dream I even ask myself “When did I get so big? This is bigger than me.” I wake up very overwhelmed. The thing about dreams today is that we are taught to do so realistically. No parent wants to have to deal with the disappointment of a child who never sees dreams come true. So we are taught to never dream beyond what we can handle. As I woke up from that dream I realized that I like knowing that I can control my life and why would I want to dream beyond what I can control. And then God clearly spoke to my heart. “DREAM BIGGER.”

“Dream bigger, so big in fact that you can not accomplish it on your own, so big that you can not control it.”

“Me, loose control? I don’t know? I hate being disappointed. Especially in myself. If I set small attainable goals for myself I don’t have to worry about all the failure involved with dreaming too big. Hmmm, If I didn’t have to worry about the fear of failure what would I dream?”

Again he spoke to my heart. “What is your dream?”

“I don’t know?” The question catches me off guard. “I want to dream bigger but my dreams are so small. I want your dreams. I can not dream big enough to break my own safe rules of self preservation. Lord, I want your dreams. Show me how to dream. Show me what a life abandoned to you looks like. Because I trust you. I not only trust you with my pain, my sins and fears, but I want to trust you with my dreams. I want to dream bigger and trust that although I can not accomplish it on my own, that I am never alone. You oh Lord can bring in to fruition all the plans you have for me. I need your dreams. Teach me how to dream, I want to be a dreamer and I want you to teach me how to show my children to dream. All hope rests on the future of your children discovering how to dream big dreams in you. And letting you have the control in our lives to bring them to pass.”

Then I remember a dream I had once. I was very young, this was when I knew how to dream. But this dream was not of my own conjuring. It was from God and it was more of a vision. I was at a youth convention many years ago. God planted a movie like picture in my mind of something that would come to pass in my life if only I would follow him. The scene was me sitting in a circle surrounded with many children. Different colors of skin painted the canvas of this beautiful picture. The ground was dirty, the sun was bright, the children were beautiful. We were playing or reading or I was teaching; all I know is that I was imparting the love of God to them. It was such a beautiful picture in fact that I wanted it as soon as possible. That was twenty years ago. The vision is still there and I recognize some of the faces now. Having four of my own children has filled a part of my life I never knew existed. But that moment in that vision has not happened yet. I have tried in all my wanting to push that day closer but I know in my heart that there is a process of growth, purification, instruction and design involved. A laying down of me and a recognition of the Lordship of Christ in my life. We want the outcome of the dream without the process of the journey. Some days I think I can handle my life, and other days I feel lost and overwhelmed and I truly believe that until I learn to give God all my days, and trust in his strength and not my own, then I will have to wait that much longer.

If we rush the process, the result is affected. Let’s say we were making ice cream but we skipped over adding the sugar, or maybe we didn’t mix it, or instead of sugar we added salt because we like to take creative license with our lives, or we got all the ingredients right but then out of our impatience we couldn’t wait for it to freeze. Mushy warm ice cream isn’t even close to the disaster we could have in our lives if we rush the process of God teaching us how to love others and the responsibilities that go along with being an ambassador of his love. If we can not be patient and wait on God now than how will we be able to wait on him in the midst of greater circumstances. I was frustrated when I was single, trying to wait for something so enormous seems almost impossible sometimes. Out of that frustration I could have taken matters into my own hands, sometimes I tried, but thankfully the concerned prayers of my parents kept me from making choices that would derail the path of God in my life. I could have married a convenient boyfriend and had children so I could start this family that I felt was part of the dream, but I wanted the picture that God put in my heart. And for that I knew I had to wait. I am not the first person nor will I be the last who is asked to wait. The "Father of many Nations": Abraham, was given a dream, a vision from God. For him when waiting on God seemed illogical and unbearable he took matters into his own hands and a divided nation was born. Ishmael was the result of Abraham trying to bring about God’s blessing in Abrahams time frame. Did it take more faith for Abraham to act on his own or for Abraham to wait on God? We confuse faith with action and sometimes faith is in our ability to wait even when we want to move forward. Isaac was the promise that God intended for Abraham and a promise that he kept in his time frame. We need to trust God that if he is big enough to move in a vision, that he is also big enough to bring it to pass. We must give up our selfish determination to bring about the will of God in our lives. It’s an oxymoron to ask God to have HIS will done in our lives and then to willfully exclude him in the process. We are so stubborn that we justify our actions, turning the situation selfishly around and making it about us, and yet claiming it is all for God. The absence of selfishness is the beginning of true obedience. Here is a spiritual litmus test for if God is in control or we are:

A man under the Lordship of God: Is patient, Knowing that God will give clear direction when movement on our part is needed. Understands that there is as much faith in waiting on God as when God asks us to move on something he has asked. Has a restful spirit. Can hear God’s voice. Let’s God take the first step. Others want to follow because they sense the presence of God in his life. Is aware of the growth in his life. Understands the importance of Lordship and the relationship between God and him is not dependent on the circumstances around him or the environment. He is confident that God will move greatly in his life.

A man under the his own Lordship: Is impatient, and frustrated. Does not feel he needs clear direction to move and uses faith as an excuse to move without God. Has a restless spirit. Cannot hear God’s voice and has to supplement with what he thinks God is saying or looks for the signs of God rather than for God himself. Wants to make the first move and gets frustrated when others do not want to follow. Is unaware of the growth in his life and almost feels as though he is stuck in a rut due to circumstances and the environment he is in. Is overly confident in himself and mistakes his own pride for faith knowing he can accomplish things on his own.

What man are we? How do we keep dreaming without taking over the responsibility to make our own dreams come true? First we must realize that God is not showing us what we can do but rather what he wants to do in us and for us. I would be easier to get on an airplane and go to Africa, find all those precious babies that need love and live a life abandoned to a calling of servant hood than to wait patiently on God. It takes more faith to wait on God and to trust that the desires of our heart are not lost but safe in his hands. We will only ever get a second rate dream come true if we push the plans of God out of the way to make room for our plans. God has not forgotten us, he is shaping us. We are so arrogant to think that we know more about our dreams than God does. He created our dreams; he created us and he created a plan for us to follow. Go back to the last thing that you know God asked you to do and do not move from that spot until he moves you.

The saying about getting the cart before the horse is a great visual. Do you want to be pushing the cart all the way to finish line just because the horse isn’t moving as fast as you want? Let God take you on this journey and don’t miss everything around you in this moment because you are pushing your own cart. The last thing God asked me to do was to love my children unconditionally, with his love and his strength. Go back to your moment and I promise you will find your purpose. Don’t get frustrated when the dream seems so far away, for you will lose today if you keep pushing towards tomorrow. Love your children, for they grow up so fast. Tell your brother about the love of Jesus for you may not get another chance. Bake bread for the hungry. Tell your parents how much you love them and pray for them. Worship God in spirit and in truth. Study his words because they are a love letter to your soul and living water to your spirit.

Joy is not dependent on circumstances or the location of your body. The location of your heart is what determines the steps you will take. Let your heart be found in the thrown room of God praising him for who he is. Determine to have faith in Him and that he is who brings about the promises for your life. Don’t pursue the dream, pursue the God who gives us dreams, the God who intends on making those dreams come true.