Ancient Doors

Ancient Doors

　

We Push, We push again, and again. The door creeks a little and so we keep on pushing. Our hands are dirty from touching the ancient gate. The gate is old but was built to last, the craftsmanship is far more superior than anything of today’s standards. We keep pushing. Finally when enough of us have come together the door starts to move. It’s opening. We have battled, we are tired and weary but the site of this ancient city is a fuel to a fire that had all but died but now roars with life within us. Our invincible Lord has conquered the enemy and now the creaky gates of this long abandoned fortress will be the dwelling place of our God, our defender. Too long have we sat outside the gates taking destructive hits to our body. But now we have found our king; now we sing the Psalm 24 cry: “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it. The world and all it’s people belong to him. For he laid the earth’s foundations on the seas and built it on the ocean depths. Who may climb the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his Holy place? Only those whose hands and hearts are pure, who do not worship idols and never tell lies. They will receive the Lord’s blessing and have right standing with God their savior. They alone may enter God’s presence and worship the God of Israel.”

The song does not end here, it goes on but for now my mind wraps itself around this savior who has found me outside those gates. He has washed the blood off my hands. Some of the blood came from my own wounds but much of it from the wounds I also inflicted upon others. My tongue has been a sword slashing the innocent and guilty alike and then in my guilt taking it’s sharp blade to myself. Until now I have been slowly dying. I kept fighting and wandering, I kept looking for medicine to heal me, to comfort me, to numb me. The world and it’s remedies fail, the numbness deadens my heart not my pain. Like a woman in labor I cry out as I am forced to give birth to grief and shame over and over until I can bare no more.

When my beautiful savior found me I was so far gone that I had given up the meaningless pursuit of happiness, wealth, and of me. He filled this empty heart and gave healing to this broken soul. I wondered how long he must have been waiting, how long until I would let go of the enemies gate. Both hands shaking it , furiously yelling at the top of my lungs at this liar and thief that held me for so long. I yelled so loud and long that I have to voice left. Taunting the enemy of my soul almost begging him to end my miserable life, but he will not even give me that. I remember the halls of the enemy where I once partied, the songs and dancing, the riches and glory, all a façade, those halls are empty now, but I guess they always were. Now I lay outside wanting my squandered youth forgiven. Wanting my stolen dreams restored. The Lord waited, He waited for me to let go, for me to realize what emptiness came from that stronghold, such a reminder I would never forget, so that I would never return to that God forsaken place. He waited and waited for what must have seemed too long to even bare as he watched his beloved tortured by these smooth criminals all for the sake of free choice all because I thought I knew what I wanted. There were times I was so hungry that I would eat the scraps of rotten food that even the animals refused to eat. My clothing once a symbol of my wealth, now revealed as rags not even fit to warm my freezing body. It wasn’t enough for the enemy to just pursue me, to deceive me, to lie to me and allow me to invest my life’s inheritance into those lies. No, now comes the rejection, the abuse and to now be thrown out left to die. Here I lie the rejected, the worthless being I am. And the attacks still come, the words, his lies are like arrows. I am almost dead now, almost gone. But then he comes… not a moment too soon, not a moment too late. A savior, gentle hands, tear filled eyes. He holds me and for the first time in eternity I understand what a gift his love is. This sweet mercy and grace filled gift. “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.” I belong to him and in this moment I take comfort in the idea that I have a kind and loving master. I belong somewhere, I belong with someone, I belong to someone. He loves me. I had prostituted myself to the enemy, I had given him what he wanted so that I could have what I wanted. Isn’t that how it works? You pay for what you own.

The first documented account of deception is the garden of Eden. We have a couple who lives in paradise and still the enemy tempts them away from God’s goodness. The deceiver convinces them that God is holding out on them. But in reality he is protecting them. The amazing part of this relationship with God that we fail to understand is that we already belong to him by his right as creator. When we reject that union with him and sell ourselves to the enemy, God could just say no because we don’t own those rights. Like a father with an inheritance, we ask for an advance that hasn’t been earned. And when we squander that inheritance his reply could be one of rejection to us. But instead it is met with forgiveness and the amazing love of a savior. The price of Christ’s torturous death was the cost of us seeking out our selfish pursuits. God paid in full not once but twice for our life. To think we are not valuable to him would be foolishness. We may never fully understand this kind of love or sacrifice but as I lay in his arms near death I realize what he did. He healed me, he washed me, I sit up drinking in the living water and as I take the cup from his hands, and the I see the marks from the nails that held him to the cross. Only a love greater than anything I have ever known can explain this kind of exchange. The enemy would have had to have thought he had won to have traded my worthlessness for Christ’s worthiness. And so it was that my selfish sins that had held me in bondage and had become the chains that kept me from a loving God would be destroyed by an act of Love that had greater power than any sin ever could. A powerful Creator who had the power to just take back what belonged to him, paid an even greater price for our restoration, redemption and rebirth. He would pay a price we never could, settle a debt he never owed, all for the answer to the question of how great his love is for his creation. He loves us. We are priceless to him. God paid a price worth more that devotion, it’s worth our love. His death wasn’t a down payment it was the deed to our hearts. His sacrifice opens up a place inside of us that was created just for him to fill. So now as we who are broken come to this gate, this ancient gate. Pushing, pushing and finally opening the door we sing the rest of Psalm 24: “Open up ancient gates! Open up ancient doors and let the King of glory enter. Who is the King of glory? The Lord strong and mighty, the Lord invincible in battle. Open up ancient gates! Open up ancient doors, and let the King of glory enter, who is the King of glory? The Lord almighty he is the King of glory.”

This part of my heart, left empty for far too long, I open up to the King of glory, that he may enter, and this fortress should forever be his alone. For I belong to Him.