Justified

Justified

The most difficult part of forgiveness for me is probably the pettiest part of unforgiveness. When it comes down to it, I just don’t want to give up my right to be irritated, annoyed or even angry at someone.  I feel justified in harboring ill feelings toward someone who has hurt me. You see selfishness is a nasty thing and when other people are inconsiderate of me I feel as though their selfishness is not as important as my own. Funny thing Justification is; you have to choose a side, who is right, who is wrong, and it usually comes down to how do I protect me from this not happening. When I put it into words it makes me look very prideful for not choosing to forgive and let go of things.

Some of us are in self preservation mode when we choose to let bitterness grow in our hearts, some of us pick up the offenses of others because we see the evil deeds of man wrecking havoc on the ones we love, some of us are childish. And some of us are a mixture of all of the above. But most of us don’t see the hidden evil of unforgiveness, sneaking up on us, harming ourselves and others more than the original offense itself. It can be as simple as a person cutting us off in traffic or a person being ungrateful when you serve them. Then that little attitude of self righteousness creeps in telling you what you really deserve. Do not mistake this voice for a friend for it is the same voice that will crucify you with regret and shame the moment you make a mistake.

How then do we preserve our peace, joy and love in a world so ravaged by the sickness of selfishness? How then do we become selfless and abandoned to the voice of God who is constantly at work showing the way to freedom? It starts with a turning away. We are called by God to bless those who curse us. We cannot do both that and stand resolute in our unforgiveness. In Justification we end up shouting out like the religious leaders who wanted Jesus crucified, they believed that they stood for justice.

Part of the case we make for justice is our desire to self preserve. We think if we lay down our defenses in humility that we become a doormat for others to walk all over. The difference is to whom we are submitting.  When knelt in submission to God, it is in obedience to our King and not to this world. God isn’t giving us these commands of humility for humiliations sake, but for the sake of our very soul. What good is it to yell out obscenities in the car at a careless driver other than to spread discord in your heart and into the hearts of those in the car with you. What good is it to guard your heart with thistle and thorn against the powers of the air?  Air passes through unharmed while you take all the pain from your thorny prison.

What action then do we take to keep our heart guarded yet soft, protected yet sensitive to the beauty of love ,fortified yet free? We have to tell our justified mind to be silent and make grace our first choice, to make peace our goal and love our priority. We have to choose this day how we will respond and react to the world. Will it be self preservation or will we chose a different defense? God does not merely say that he is loving but rather that He is LOVE. He himself is love, the creator of emotion, and of spirit and of earth, this one true God, is love. Therefore when He says to choose love, kindness and forgiveness in the face of all adversity whether it is a minor offense or a major crime, we are fortifying our lives with love and filling ourselves with the only thing that can and could ever truly protect us.

If you have a cold you cannot kill it with poison, the cost is too high; the cost is a life. You must attack it with medicine, with the only true thing that can destroy it. Yet we fight the wrong way and try to protect against its pain with weapons forged not out of love but out of selfish defense. We protect ourselves completely, only by allowing God to have the job of protector and relinquishing those rights to him. We can then assume the job meant for us, given to us by God, a job that is a commission; to go out into the world, to be love, to be light and to be completely immersed in his presence.

 We cannot welcome the presence of God while harboring the poison of unforgivenss. It will kill us, it will tell us that it can fight the pain inside but what it does not disclose is that it will kill the keeper too.

What does this health and medicine of grace look like? It is asking God for awareness, it is acting in love out of that awareness and it is continuing to choose others needs above our own.

Offense is a forked tongue whispering our rights while dismissing the rights of others. The enemy knows that if we operate sole out of an offended mind built by our perception and misconceptions that we could destroy the world around us. like a single breath blowing down a house of cards, allowing offenses to linger in our hearts can be our destruction. He merely has to get us to believe that we have the right to be offended and we will destroy ourselves and the ones we love, single handedly.  When God says we must humble ourselves take up the cross and follow him, he is not saying that we have accepted defeat but he is saying follow me and we will crucify this beast of selfishness.

We have to stop making it so easy for the Devil to hurt us. It is time to fight with the right arsenal. Are you feeling beat up and completely and entirely attacked at every turn, and your mind is a mess of worry, doubt, fear, anger, and complete depression? It’s time to take up a true stance of defense. It’s time to equip ourselves for a real fight and make our true enemy bleed. The enemy has merely laid out vials of poison for us to sample: Fear, Bitterness, Greed, Selfishness, Jealousy, Anger, Malice, Unforgiveness, and Shame to name a few. Then we wonder why we are too unhealthy to stand up and fight, why we are too tired and depressed, overwhelmed and burdened.

So what can we do?

Simple: Quit taking the poison! If you have been then you need to take a dose of forgiveness to flush it out, and then let your very being be filled with the life giving health of Christ's righteousness that will produce the Fruit of the Spirit.

The Fruit of the Spirit is; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. If you are not operating in these then consider what poison you may be consuming that is killing your fruit.  

Arm yourself with Thanksgiving and Praise to God. Fill your heart with gladness as you rejoice in his goodness. Offer a submissive and contrite heart. Seek his heart and ask him to forgive the sins of pride and unforgiveness towards his children. Surrender your will. Not to be defeated but to be armed and ready for this battle we face every day. Fill yourself with the Word of truth and you will be filled with the very presence of God. The bible says in John 1:1-2,14

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.”

“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

  The word is Christ! He is alive and becomes alive in us as we spend time in him, in his word. And His word says we are to fight evil with good, God’s instructions in Romans 12:9-21 explain it all

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;                                                                                                                    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.                                                                                                      In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”                                                                                 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

 

So as I consider my desire to hold back forgiveness and to keep my rights to be irritated with others, I must consider the cost for ingesting this poison. It doesn’t take much poison to kill the fruit of peace in my life.  And the cost is much too high. We need to start praising the good that we see in others instead of filling record books with their flaws.

Pray with me.

Dear forgiving Savior,                                                                                                                                            

I ask you right now in all your authority and power to kill the poison of unforgiveness in my heart. I may have a right to hold such thoughts and to keep discord in my heart but if ever anyone had rights to withhold good, it was you. I take your example of perfect forgiveness to a world that rejected you and shouted out with cries for justice when in reality they were deceived by the poison of their selfishness. I will in this very moment chose forgiveness, a forgiveness that I could never have known if it were not for your sacrificial love for me. Thank you Lord that I am no longer bound by an unswerving system of justice but am forgiven and now forgive others as you have asked of me. I have held onto these things for far too long and as I release all of this to you, I seek your protection and your healing. I need your health in my spirit once again and I ask for new fruit to be produced in greater quality and quantities than I have ever known. Help me to hold true to a spirit of forgiveness, mercy and grace. With thankfulness in my heart I ask all of these things in your precious and most beautiful name. Amen

Conditional Generosity?

Conditional Generosity?

 

I believe that we are really good at cheapening some of God’s most beautiful gifts. One of those gifts that I have most recently been aware of abusing is the gift of generosity. Christ lived a life that showed that love is not conditional. Yet I fall short in the area of viewing my generosity as being a conditional kind of thing. I would say that I was unknowingly of the mindset that some of the gifts and fruits of the Spirit are things that are earned and deserved and others are not. Because I felt this way about giving I had a hard time with true generosity, always trying to decide the difference between the deserving poor and the undeserving. I would see a homeless man for example and wonder about the choices he made to get to that place rather than just allow the conviction of true kindness to win out.

I was putting a list of requirements on it like I do when I tip at a restaurant. Like a waitress that makes several trips to check on my food and fills my drink I feel the generosity well up inside of me to bless her hard work, but then I penalize a waiter that lazily sits in the break room smoking, while I go thirsty. I wanted my mandatory “gift” to be deserved. This mindset then followed into the not so mandatory areas of giving. I would question every situation in which it was in my power to act with thoughts like “Would the homeless person use my gift to eat or would he waste it on alcohol and drugs.” I felt justified in my questioning and I decided that giving should be something I would be wise and shrewd about and only if God truly put it on my heart to give, would I give. I didn’t understand that most likely by the time that God spoke it would be too late or that by the time he broke through all the callused layers of my heart I would have lost an opportunity to love. I didn’t know that I had gotten so judgmental about those in need until I recently had an experience with giving that really showed me that I needed to let God purge a little bit of my selfishness out of the mix.

It was just a gas station, I was getting gas, some drinks and snacks for the long six hours ahead. I had my youngest with me, a sweet little three year old full of joy and excitement as we chose our special treat. In the next isle over a father and two little girls were also picking out snacks and drinks. When he went to pay his card was declined. He went out to get money from his girlfriend and when he came back he told the excited girls to put it back, because they had to go. I didn’t even hesitate, maybe because the girls were a reflection of innocence, maybe because God got through to me, but I offered to pay for the snacks. “No just put it on mine.” I said to the teller. He felt embarrassed and starting to decline it, he said, “I feel bad.” I said, “No, don’t feel bad, you have some really precious girls, consider it an early thanksgiving.” He thanked me more than once and we went our ways.

My original thought was that he was acting a little strange, like a man on something, or coming off of something (probably drugs). But that was usually the case with me, I find a million reasons why I shouldn’t just give. I felt a mix of feelings getting into the car and driving through the flat uninteresting prairie of Nebraska. For miles I had nothing to do but count windmills and plenty of time to think. I thought about how good it felt to show Love to a stranger, but I also felt a deep conviction at how new that feeling felt. I would be lying to say the good feeling somehow made up for the selfishness I had been passing off as good judgment or discernment. I felt as though that little bit of light was shining a whole lot brighter because this area in me was a dark and unfamiliar place. I was exposed.

I am not meaning this to be a word that brings condemnation but sometimes revelation to our not so pretty areas tends to feel a bit disturbing at times. I prayed for that man and his family, for those girls, for Jesus to be revealed in all of his goodness. I prayed for forgiveness for the times I just shut out others because I was uncomfortable or uninterested. I also asked God to continue to work in me in this area and to help me not to put stipulations on his goodness. We tend to get a little prideful and want to bless those that we feel are deserving but when we do the choosing aren't we playing God's part? Only God knows what God knows and he has given freely to all. I remembered a verse from Proverbs that spoke to this very situation. Proverbs  3:27 Do not withhold help from those who need it when you have the ability to help.

I am so thankful that Christ took this verse to heart. He was the only one who had the ability to help us. His very life showed compassion and mercy and grace and forgiveness. It is never about what we have or have not done with Christ. With Christ it is the message that no matter how much or how little sacrifice we put before him, His sacrifice was enough to cover our bill. He didn’t ask us how we got there, and he didn’t even care because he saw us as a valued creation, as God’s beloved children and he offered his life to be the sacrifice that would bring us into a place where we could finally know our Father, know a God who this world claims has long left, a God that in truth has been waiting for his children to seek him, rather than chase them as they run. Make no mistake our God has pursed us even unto the death of his very son who offered himself as the way to show that he would go to hell and back for us. He came for us all, he died so that we could understand a love that puts no shame to our name. So as I contemplated my decision to call myself a child of God, I realized that I, not unlike Christ need to show his unconditional love, his unconditional grace and his unconditional generosity.

God may we become more like you, more generous, more kind and more open to love. You are a generous God and if we are really your children than we too should be a reflection of your unfailing generous spirit. Holy Spirit breathe your truth in us and teach us how to stop reacting to the worlds ways and start acting out of love and kindness. We want to honor you in all we do and we know that one of the ways we can do this is by reflecting the truth of your loving kindness.  You are the perfection of balance in all things and we ask for that balance of wisdom and generosity to be present in our lives. We can never love too much, or give too much, or show you too much to others. Let us be as generous with others as you have been with us. Amen

The Language Barrier

The Language Barrier

 

Maybe its pride or maybe just lack of understanding but how many times have I found myself blankly staring into space wondering why I can’t hear God, or why I don’t understand what he is speaking to me.  I say maybe its pride because in our culture we expect everyone to meet us where we are instead of going the extra mile to meet them in the middle.

Several years ago I traveled to Paris with my best friend. We had just spent a week in Ireland and thought it was worth a few extra bucks to hop over to the beautiful city of love, enriched in culture. The week in Ireland that we spent was amazing and very successful due to several things; one, we had a tour guide and two, the Irish speak English. The further south we traveled in Ireland the harder to understand the dialect but it was still possible to communicate on a somewhat sophisticated level. The three days following when we arrived in Paris however was another story altogether.

Arriving in Paris the two of us (neither one knowing a lick of French) began our adventure. We managed to find our way but found many obstacles in not knowing the language. It was often frustrating and I found myself resenting the French people for not speaking English. Here I am in someone else’s country and I, in my arrogance think that they should know my language.  We found ourselves lost and unprepared for this giant adventure more than once.

I find this story enlightening because it is a direct parallel to how we interact with God when communicating with him. 1 Corinthians 13 describes the language barrier very well. God speaks love and unfortunately that is not our native language. “When I was a child, I thought like a child, I spoke like a child but when I grew up I put away childish things…” The love chapter describes a language and gives us the blueprints for speaking it. Love is patient, kind,… It is not selfish, it does not want,… It keeps no record of wrongs…”

So very often we get very upset when we can’t hear God, or when we don’t understand what he is saying. We want him to speak our language so that we can communicate and understand but he loves us too much to let us operate in the world’s native language.

I think back to that trip to Ireland, I mentioned that we had two things that made the trip effortless; a tour guide, and we spoke the same language. Also when we had a hard time understanding the southern dialect our guide doubled as a translator. God is offering those same things for us in the spiritual realm. He gives us the Holy Spirit and his word. Both are vital in learning this new language. Sometimes it seems like a lot of work but I can only imagine the great reward that is in store for those who start to learn this new language.

If I had applied these principles to the trip to Paris several things would have looked different. I would have been a lot less frustrated and also I would have been protected from a very dangerous situation. Honestly it was very stupid for two attractive young females to go to foreign city known for human trafficking with no understanding of the language, not to mention they knew no one on the entire European continent who could help them if they had gotten into trouble.

We learned three whole words the entire time,: “Merci” and “Excuse Moi”. “Thank you” and “Excuse Me”. Joking that that is all you need to communicate in France. But how arrogant and sad is it that we thought we could get by with three words? And yet we try to speak the language of love with God, saying only “Thank you” and “I’m sorry.” Never furthering the conversation.  

We can go through our entire lives trying to get by with a few words we know but the depth of our relationship will be at stake, and chances are we will default to our selfish tongue as soon as we are agitated or tired of not being able to communicate. Or as soon as we hear something from God that just seems too hard to translate. When I look into the eyes of my child after speaking the enemies native tongue of evil, I vow with my whole heart to learn how to speak love but then I go about doing it on my own, only getting frustrated by the process. God desires for us to spend intimate time with him, sometimes there is a little bit of work involved but most of the time we learn his language just by spending time in his presence, we learn by emersion. We learn by doing.

If you are finding yourself saying the words… “I just don’t hear God.” Or “I just don’t understand what God is saying.” It is very possible you are either not listening or you are trying to translate with the wrong language as your base.

God doesn’t let us walk into a place of peace and rest while carrying luggage laden with worry and doubt and fear and hate, unforgiveness and bitterness. If you feel like you are standing in front of a door and He just isn’t letting you in. It’s probably time to check your luggage. He wants you to enter into his freedom with Thanksgiving and Praise, with the lightness of all your burdens laid at his feet. Sometimes it seems as if God is the security guard, checking our bags for harmful items before we get to go any further, but the truth is, it is a long road ahead and we won’t make it with those heavy bags. He has a plan for our success, we have to lay down some stuff. We need to accept his helper, his translator, The Holy Spirit. We have to quit trying to get God to speak our language. He wants to speak to us with His language of love. But as long as we cling to the past of what we have always known and reject the tour guide and translator of this beautiful language we will never understand or comprehend what God is doing or saying.

Do we want to go on being childish, arrogant, lacking knowledge, confused, afraid and alone? God doesn’t want us to feel alienated. God morns for His Children as we sit in our ignorance.  So often we blame Him for the silence as we refuse to walk into the sound of His beautiful voice. Are we ready to break the language barrier?

 

God I have gotten by on the words “Thank you” and “excuse me” for far too long. Please forgive me for not learning to speak your language more fluently. I have been arrogant and childish and I want to understand you. I want to hear you and I want to speak love to others the way you speak love to me. Thank you for the Helper that you have given us. He is such a beautiful translator of your truth and love. I need him every day to guide me through. Holy Spirit take this my broken and imperfect tongue and give it words of wisdom and life. I want to follow your every move. I don’t want to miss the beautiful surprises that in store for me as I obediently follow you into places I would never find on my own. Your word oh God is such a perfect guide. Thank you for giving us a way to hear you. I pray we would not waste our days here but bring heaven to earth and speak your love every day. Amen

Lock Out

 

It was my first school lockout. I quickly held in the overwhelming emotion to keep my son from seeing my fear. The words, “No one goes in, no one comes out.” It was any ordinary day, all except for the fact that when I took my son to school at 12:30 for half day kindergarten, I couldn’t drop him off. My daughter was in there, in her second grade class. Was she o.k.? Was she scared? Was she safe?

I immediately called to God, and he quickly responded with a peace that can only be explained by the beauty of his desire to comfort me. I could feel his touch, hear his voice and my heart quickly calmed to the gentle pace of his smooth breathing. As a child who lays her head on her father’s chest to rest and find the comfort and warmth of the sound of his beating heart. It was a second, only a second, but enough time for my nerves to be calmed and to remember that my children are in his loving hands and their safety is his responsibility. One child locked in, One locked out.

These are the moments we call upon our faith and we see just how deep our well is. On this day it was full, thankfully full. But some days it seems as though the tiniest hiccup can derail me all together. We don’t see the need for our source of strength (God) when we think we have enough on our own to carry us through. I found myself in a different kind of lock out the other day. Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual in nature this lock out was caused by the threat of a less mysterious danger… Myself. 

Maybe you have experienced that moment when you fail someone so badly, you wonder if you can come back from it. For me it was with my son. Was the cause of my anger toward him some horrible thing he had done to deserve my wrath? I guess that depends on if you think spilling some oatmeal on the floor is worth the death sentence. The way I reacted you would have thought so. I guess the idea is that if you keep drawing from the well and never put back into it, eventually you come up empty. And unfortunately this well was not the living well, it was my own personal well, one that had been completely drained by a lack of sleep and my desire to carry my own burdens and try to do everything myself.

In that moment when you realize that you just called your child stupid, or you hit him out of anger, you truly feel the shock of the “lock out.” What have I done? You see the child that you love, close himself up out of protection. And until the threat is resolved, you are locked out. The shame I felt and the possibility that my son would not be able to forgive me created what could have been a very long lock out. But as shame crept further in I chose to break its hold with the simple offering of a genuine apology. I asked my son to forgive me and I explained that I was wrong to say those words and that in fact the very opposite is true. The living Well inside of me was in that moment filled with life as I allowed the truth of God’s love to enter in and flood my being.

I guess you could say this mommy experienced a few obstacles this week in her attempt to hold it all together. But in the end whether it was realizing that God is holding them when I can’t, or still holding them when I should be and fail to. He showed me that I need to be filled at all times with his love and mercy, not just utilizing his living water as an emergency store house but that his life is forever flowing and that I can use it all the time. I guess we get in the survival mindset that we should save it up for a drought, but like a steady rain God desires us to be drenched in this living water living in the understanding that it will never fail or run out.

The question God asked me this week was “What do you lack?” If we are connected to the source we should lack nothing.  Check your connection and make sure that you are truly pulling from the source.

Psalm 23:1
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing
 
James 1:2-5
 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

 

 

Prone to Wander

Prone to wander

 

In my Study of John 15, The Vine and the Branches, I have been contemplating the importance of abiding in God. It isn’t that I don’t want to stay in his presence, it is just that I seem to wander a bit and create situations that require me once again to run back into the shelter of his arms. I feel like a little lamb that gets a little too far from the shepherd in her quest for greener pastures and then sees that she is too far away and runs back in a frantic gallop. As I was thinking about my childish tendency to wander I remembered a story about a most exciting fishing adventure.

A father took his three daughters to a lake to go fishing. The oldest daughter and the youngest daughter were content to stay by the shore as the father cast the poles into the water and sat waiting. The middle daughter waited for what seemed an unbearable amount of time (probably less than five minutes) before deciding to go make her own luck. The father knew that she was inexperienced and needed his instruction and guidance but allowed his daughter to wander.

She was easily distracted by the rocks at her feet and the bubbles created by fish down below. She would cast once in one spot before quickly moving on. As she wandered around a bend that was out of the site of her family she noticed a very large fish floating on the surface of the water. Everything inside of her knew that this fish was probably compromised but she wanted to please her father and show him that she could do amazing things on her own. She used her pole to drag the fish into the shore, and then placing the hook in its mouth she made her way back to the group.

Everyone was so excited to see the catch and praised her abilities. It felt so good to be praised but inside she knew that she had not earned the praise that she so deeply desired. Her worry that she would be found out a phony consumed her and as they loaded up the fish to head home her stomach grew ill at the thought of what would happen when they cut open the fish. When they got home the father started to fillet the fish and as he got closer to the dreaded fish the middle daughter became more and more aware of the impending doom. As he picked up the fish she screamed uncontrollably “NO! Don’t do it, I didn’t catch it…. I found it.” She hung her head low in her own disappointment. Her father (trying to hold back his laughter) tilted her head up to meet his eyes. He was not disappointed, but very amused. “It’s okay, we have plenty of other fish.” No rebuke, no “I told you so”, just a loving father realizing that his daughter was prone to wander and he would have to keep his eyes on this one.

I think we tend to think that our loving father has a switch, anger and love. And that He is displeased with our tendency to wander. But God says that He "is" love. No matter how far we wander we are never fully out of his sight. It was the little girls’ loss, who wandered from her father and never got to learn or experience the company of her fathers’ wisdom and presence.

The whole point of the trip wasn’t to go fishing and bring in fish it was to enjoy each other’s company. All too often we set off on our own because we misunderstand the idea of staying close to God, we think that he wants us to go do something for him, when all he really wants is to do something with us. If we misunderstand the purpose for his nearness we will miss the opportunity to be loved on a very intimate and personal level. God wants to spend quality time with his children.

Isn’t it funny that when we go off trying to prove something often we come back with counterfeit spoils. Whenever we think God is looking for some kind of accomplishment, or product, or work, we lose the point of spending time with him. As a result of spending time with my father I would have learned to fish and probably caught a few, and I would have walked away with joy in my heart knowing that it was a day well spent hanging out with my daddy. And on the plus side I wouldn’t have had to bait my hook all by myself. God wants our presence not our catch of the day. When we walk off trying to do some great thing to impress or please God or others we find ourselves often coming up short.

The girl in the story is me. For all those others who are prone to wander, who maybe want the title of best fisherman ever, to be praised for our accomplishments, or are so distracted by creation we miss the creator; let’s remember to wait upon the Lord, let’s remember to set aside time just to be with our Father. Not so that we can become great but so that we can bask in his greatness. And in the process we are transformed into his likeness, we learn to rest and we learn to listen to his voice.

 

Father, Thank you for your greatness, thank you that you let me wander but have never let me out of your sight. I know that I have had a hard time sitting still so I ask you to help me be seated with you. I want to spend time with you and I have felt you calling me for such a very long time. Bring me into your presence and help me to make that place my home. I love you so much, I feel as though I need to go and make you proud but I know that the thing that brings you the most joy is when I come with no expectations and just sit with you. Help me to be silent and to listen when you speak and to not try to fill the silent moments with noise. I just want to put my head on your chest and rest in you. Thank you that you are patient with me. And that you have waited for me. You overwhelm me with your goodness. I love you Father. Amen.

The Devil's Playground

The devil’s playground 

Have you ever found yourself sitting on the ground with the wind knocked out of you? One minute you are flying high, thinking everything is going your way and the next minute there you sit in your own disbelief of badly something went for you. Let me say that chances are you were playing on the devil’s playground.

We all know the verse: "Pride comes before a fall". But what most of us are very unaware of is that pride is not as obvious as one might think. Sometimes we are sitting on the floor before we even realize we in fact were the ones who put ourselves there.

A very long time ago the very first lie was told in the heavens. It was a lie that an angel told himself as he began to desire the praise and the glory all for himself. It was the lie that He would rise above God and be exalted. Sometimes God creates things that are just so beautiful that for a moment our eyes shift from the creator to the created. And in this moment we begin to believe in the notion that we ourselves are in a position of power.

Spiritual battles have been waging on ever since that moment that the heavens split due to the arrogant notion of a created being. We tend to think that we are equipped to fight these battles because of God’s favor and blessing in our lives but our Father has warnings for us in this fight. The enemy knows more about pride, selfishness, and greed than any other creature, for it has become his wardrobe and his skin, his mind is consumed by it. He is a master of deception and lies and clothed in his garments of pride he can not help but use these things against us at every turn.

We have to choose not to play on the devil’s playground. God has given us authority over the Prince of darkness. But unless we stand on the ground that God has set our feet firmly upon we will fall to the enemy’s deceptions.

God showed me a while back that worship is one of our greatest weapons against the enemy. I loved that idea! I was all excited about it! But as time went on my curiosity of what that meant grew and I wanted to understand why worship is so powerful. God simply showed me that there is one place the enemy never goes and will never go again (willingly), and that is the feet of God, and the foot of the cross of Christ Jesus. When Satan elevated himself in his pride he distanced himself so far from humility that worship to God is the furthest most point we can get from the enemy. God in his righteousness not only made a way for us to be clean and free from sins bondage He also made a safe place for us to go (No matter where we are) far from Satan and his lies.

My favorite stories of great victories came at the sound of worship to God. Listen for the sounds of the walls of Jericho coming down due to obedient, vulnerable, sacrificial shouts of Praise to God. Listen to the cells of the walls of Paul’s prison cell crumbling as worship is lifted to a great and mighty God. Do you see the harp of David giving him victory over a cruel Saul? When we position ourselves humbly at the feet of our God we utilize a refuge like no other in our lives.

The Devil has created a playground devised of Pride, selfishness and greed. What happens when we choose to live on the grounds of humility, sacrificial love, and a heart that gives worship unto God? If you have recently found yourself lying on the floor of what you thought was the ground of good intentions and wonder what went wrong, ask yourself the three question test.

Was it Pride (did I think I knew better than someone else)?

Was it Selfish (Did I pursue my (or my families) needs and wants above someone and at the cost of someone else)?

Was is Greed (Did I take something that belonged to someone else because I thought I would be a better manager or because I felt as though I earned or deserved it)?

It has been said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I would go further with that thought and even argue that good intentions are often the cover we use when we are operating out of one of those three actions and don’t want to get caught.

The enemy can bring us down to the ground of his playground every time. He knows his weapons are good. But we know our weapons are God’s. The Bible says that “no weapon that is fashioned against us shall stand.” But that is because we will be standing on higher ground.

So where do we go from here; the dirtiness of his playground? Do we get back on the swings of selfishness, or the slide of pride, or the monkey bars of greed? And we know that there are many other devises he uses. Or do we brush ourselves off and leave that desolate land of unforgiveness and seek out the shelter of our true and rightful king?

As for me, I will find myself asking God and others for forgiveness as many times as I need to, to keep my heart in his hands. And to keep my posture at his feet. I will be as Mary was; finding comfort at the precious feet of Jesus, pouring out precious perfume. This posture is also one that Christ showed us. When Jesus washed the disciples’ feet he was showing us a way to be close to the father. Of all the people who should have had the right to accuse, to defend to be prideful and haughty it was the son of the living God and yet even as he was sacrificed in the most humiliating and awful way. Love was in his heart, tears for us in his eyes and forgiveness flowed from the foot of that cross.

Do not for one minute waste the sacrifice of our precious and loving God because you are too busy fighting for what you feel is deserved and due to you. The enemy wants us to lose sight of the power found in humility, sacrifice and forgiveness so that we cannot live in freedom. Are you too busy looking at the flaws and sins of others to see that Christ died for yours. Are you so busy trying to get someone to see that they owe you, that you have missed the penalty paid for you on the cross?

We are poor masters even unto ourselves, but what need have we for a master when we have the greatest of all masters reaching out to us?

So many of Christ’s parables are about the good master. One such parable is of the Good Master forgiving an enormous debt and then having that debtor turn around and go seeking payment from someone who owed him. Another parable is about the servant who worked for a set wage and found himself angry when the master paid another servant the same wage for a less amount of time. And then of course the Story of the prodigal son, whose father welcomed his son with arms wide open after he had foolishly squandered his life savings. Then the brother unable to accept the fathers love for his brother was angry at such forgiveness.

My question is this? Are we so blinded by what we feel is fair and just and right and due us, that we put ourselves in such a prideful stance as to question the goodness of God. Our rightful response should be joy when God shows mercy to another. And we should be pleased when our Father opens his heart to our brother and to our fellow servants. Not too long ago we needed that mercy, we needed that forgiveness, we needed that favor and he gave us his very flesh torn apart to make a way to the Father’s feet.

Pride tends to make us very territorial with our Father. We are very accustomed to his gifts and what we don’t understand is that the abundance of God is so great and his love is so vast, that there is plenty of room in the Father’s house for everyone. Find yourself in a posture of worship at God’s feet, a position of service to others, and God will put you in a place of honor. I believe this is what is meant by Matthew 6:33,   “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Pain

 

It was dark. For as long as I could remember, it was dark. I don’t know how to explain that moment when I first saw the light except for the fact that I felt indescribable excitement and a flood of paralyzing fear all at the same time. In my struggle to be free from my little prison cell I had also made it my home so to experience new life was so fearfully foreign to me.

It’s important to remember where you came from. Too many people look at a mighty tree and fail to recognize that its beginning was that of a once small seed. So small in fact that it would be tread upon by many an unknowing foot, and overlooked by almost everything and everyone, but God himself.

I know a little something about seedlings. I used to be one. I know you wouldn’t think of me as ever knowing what it felt like to look up at all. I am the largest, the tallest and the oldest in the forest; I am the Lodgepole Pine. I was born in adversary and in struggle but live in triumph.

Over the years I have collected many stories that are worth honorable mention, but no story as powerful as the one of my pain and suffering. It’s hard to rationalize pain. It’s not an easy subject to talk about let alone an easy path to walk down. The scope of how people react to pain is so broad that it is hard to pin down one way to deal with it. It seems so easy for some to cope and so difficult for others. Whether the reaction is one of fight or flight we still find ourselves in the same place, a place of weakness; a place of inadequacy.

The fight is raw, it is harsh and if we allow the pain to become the lie that the heart of God is cruel then we will grow bitter to the beauty that is still so very real in this world. Without faith it is impossible to please God and I would suggest that without faith it is also impossible to be pleased by God. If we fail to believe that God is GOOD even in the times when life is not, then we will allow the lies of Satan to grow a deep rooted bitterness in our souls. This bitterness will blind us to the truth of God’s amazing Love and taint everything after with a grey unforgiving hue. But if we choose to believe (out of our faith in Him) in His goodness, no matter how awful the circumstances in our life are, then he will grow inside of us, a peace, and a joy, and a sense of his comfort that no words can describe.

Let me take you back in time with me before I became a conqueror of hardship and believer in God’s amazing provision through trials.

A little known fact about us Lodge pole pines is that our seeds are incased in a cone completely impenetrable by any force other than the extreme heat caused by fire. A cone can stay dormant, hanging from a tree for several years. We grow to a hundred feet and produce Cones for two hundred years. We are a king among trees and yet it is the adversity of fire that grows us beyond the tiny safe world of our limited cone.

I would argue with the idea that God brings adversity. This is where I believe we lose our faith in his goodness. We see the pain as being more powerful than His love and so our faith is manipulated. When he refuses to take us out of our struggles and rather through a trying time, we blame him for the pain rather than recognizing that he wants us to conquer it rather than run from it. When people go to the doctor for a broken bone they don't blame the doctor for the break just because they hate having to have it reset. People may hate the process of Physical therapy but it is foolish to blame the physician for the source of pain. Often we get hurt and because we know the power of God, we question the healing process he chooses for us. God has a way of getting us healthy that we don’t generally want to go through.

 

Most of the fires that have come through my woods have been man made, or a bi product of the elements. I don’t believe that God brings pain into our life to direct us a certain way but I do believe that he never leaves us to be broken by the struggles and his pure love is always the driving force for his presence in our lives. If you go back to the beginning, pain was never a part of the plan. The very first lie of Satan, directed at man, in the Garden was that we should question God’s goodness and his intensions. Eve in turn took that bait and man began to believe that maybe God didn’t have his best interests at heart. The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy. He is a liar and he delights in our ignorance to blame God for things that are not in God’s character to be.

Let it be clear that God has created us to be overcomers. My God does not create pain but he does create us to be able to withstand its destructive nature. I am living proof of a creator that wastes no opportunity to turn a painful, destructive element into a life starting environment.

The day I was born, I was born from adversity. The fire came up all around me and death in all of its violence screamed for more. And yet by the design of God, life arose. Lodgepole seeds are only opened by extreme heat, and in that moment I feared that I would be consumed. But I fell into the rich soil that had been created but the fire, I immediately sprang forth and began to grow.

God created a way for us to thrive in the midst of great adversity. He did not bring the fire, he brought the life. He did not bring the death, except that of His only son, so that we could live eternal. Death has no hold on us. Every moment of unforgiveable, torturous pain Christ endured on a cross so that we could be that seed planted in the ashes of His life. God promises that no matter how terrible the pain of loss, that His love is as strong as death, His Jealousy for our hearts is as demanding as the grave.

What terrible thing have you been blaming God for? A death of a child, the rape of your innocence, the abandonment, the abuse of love, the loss of a part of your physical, emotional, mental or spiritual self? What terrible thing have you given a loving God undue credit for, as he has done nothing but hold his hand outstretched to you, pleading with tears in his eyes to seek that place inside of you that was meant to overcome these horrors. God did not do these things to you but he did create you with a failsafe for when times were just too hard to understand. In the midst of great trial we can rise above with the miraculous life of God himself dwelling inside of us; creating forgiveness, wholeness, healing, generosity, and a love that puts itself last and is then exalted above all! Wake up! Arise, you are defeated no more! Jesus was crucified but He also arose from that death and in our hardest moments of unimaginable pain we can lean on this truth that nothing in this world can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Do you understand that he is for you and not against you? Do you understand that you have been running away from a loving God and into the hands of a deceitful devil. Do not be foolish, the devil strokes your flesh, selling your soul a lavish plate of all the things done wrong to us, all the while plotting our death. I will not tell you that it is easy to walk through a tragedy but it is harder without the comfort of a loving God. You may at this very moment be in that cone, a dark place where the light is so scary because you have made the darkness your home. You feel the fire coming, you feel the pressure of the change. The world around you is breaking, but do not be deceived into thinking that this is the end. This is your beginning and when this time of fire passes, a time of life will emerge out of death. Do not fear the light. Do not fear being planted in the soil of devastation. For our God exalts the weak, the broken, the lost, the smallest of seeds and he calls forth a mighty tree capable of growing a hundred feet tall. A tree that for two hundred years produces seed. Seeds capable of producing a forest from just one fire. He will not waste your tragedy. Will you? 


A Note From the Author:

His hands are outstretched in times of confusion. We ask the question of God that if he is good, then why didn't he stop something so bad from happening. But is our God confined by the limits of this world? Are we holding an infinite God who is the source of all life to the confinement of our selfish desires and limited understanding? Is this world the only dimension capable of His Life, His Love and His Presence? Has God abandon us to our pain? Was He not there?  At what point did He leave? Did He leave when you accused him of cruelty rather than love?

Mary and Martha lost their brother Lazarus. Martha said "If you had been here my brother would not have died" (an understanding of Jesus power yet an accusation of his goodness). Even after Jesus told Martha that her brother would be raised from death she doubted. Mary Said, "If you had been here, my brother would not have died ." (recognition of his power and a proclamation of his greatness). Same words, but each woman had a very different view of his character. After Martha spoke Jesus had words for her, a conversation, an explanation, a lesson. After Mary spoke, Jesus wept. He felt her pain, he felt her belief, he felt her reaching out to him in the midst of her tragedy. At this point Lazarus did not stay in the grave. Are we still clinging to the power of the grave long after the power of Christ has come to us? How do we ignite the power of God like Mary did? We have to look past our accusation filled pain and engage our faith. A faith that says, I know that there is power in the presence of God, especially in the midst of loss.

He wept. Our savior wept. He not only weeps for our loss but follows through with the promise of new life. What has been taken from you? Is it gone forever or is God big enough to restore? I have lost babies. I have lost hope, I have lost faith, I have lost my way many a time, I have been wronged, I have been cheated, I have been accused. But instead of letting an enemy whisper lies of God's goodness and character being faulty or anything other than perfect, I stand firm in the knowledge of God's love over us. I will be the seed that grows in adversity. I will be the mighty Pine that allowed the fire to burn off the outside so that the inside could be revealed. I am created to withstand anything in this world except for one thing.... I can not live without my Loving God right beside me. And that enemy is counting on us believing the lies of God having a tainted character so that we will not grow, so that we will not rise, and so that we will not feel God's life giving love. Do not let the fruit of your pain be the rotten fruit planted by the seeds of the enemy, these seeds are born of seclusion from God.  May the fruit that is planted in adversity be that of the Holy Spirit. For this fruit is eternal, this fruit is life, this fruit is of lasting glory.

Dear Father, I know that life is full of fire and to wage war against the only one who can carry me through it is foolishness. Forgive me for my unkind thoughts, words and untrue beliefs of you. I know you are good. I know you are love. I know that no matter what I face you will never leave me. I also know that the Devil is scared of this kind of faith in you, because to realize our place in you is realize our strength, power and potential; a power that tears down his disgusting strongholds. Right now in the name of Jesus I claim freedom for all who read these words. For all who dare to know of your great love and be forever changed I claim blessings in your name. I pray for healing, and for restoration but I also pray for abundance for those who come to you and desire to stay with you. You alone are worthy of honor and glory and we lift you up in true adoration and worship. You oh God, are worthy of our utmost devotion. I love you Lord so very much! Amen.