Prone to Wander

Prone to wander

 

In my Study of John 15, The Vine and the Branches, I have been contemplating the importance of abiding in God. It isn’t that I don’t want to stay in his presence, it is just that I seem to wander a bit and create situations that require me once again to run back into the shelter of his arms. I feel like a little lamb that gets a little too far from the shepherd in her quest for greener pastures and then sees that she is too far away and runs back in a frantic gallop. As I was thinking about my childish tendency to wander I remembered a story about a most exciting fishing adventure.

A father took his three daughters to a lake to go fishing. The oldest daughter and the youngest daughter were content to stay by the shore as the father cast the poles into the water and sat waiting. The middle daughter waited for what seemed an unbearable amount of time (probably less than five minutes) before deciding to go make her own luck. The father knew that she was inexperienced and needed his instruction and guidance but allowed his daughter to wander.

She was easily distracted by the rocks at her feet and the bubbles created by fish down below. She would cast once in one spot before quickly moving on. As she wandered around a bend that was out of the site of her family she noticed a very large fish floating on the surface of the water. Everything inside of her knew that this fish was probably compromised but she wanted to please her father and show him that she could do amazing things on her own. She used her pole to drag the fish into the shore, and then placing the hook in its mouth she made her way back to the group.

Everyone was so excited to see the catch and praised her abilities. It felt so good to be praised but inside she knew that she had not earned the praise that she so deeply desired. Her worry that she would be found out a phony consumed her and as they loaded up the fish to head home her stomach grew ill at the thought of what would happen when they cut open the fish. When they got home the father started to fillet the fish and as he got closer to the dreaded fish the middle daughter became more and more aware of the impending doom. As he picked up the fish she screamed uncontrollably “NO! Don’t do it, I didn’t catch it…. I found it.” She hung her head low in her own disappointment. Her father (trying to hold back his laughter) tilted her head up to meet his eyes. He was not disappointed, but very amused. “It’s okay, we have plenty of other fish.” No rebuke, no “I told you so”, just a loving father realizing that his daughter was prone to wander and he would have to keep his eyes on this one.

I think we tend to think that our loving father has a switch, anger and love. And that He is displeased with our tendency to wander. But God says that He "is" love. No matter how far we wander we are never fully out of his sight. It was the little girls’ loss, who wandered from her father and never got to learn or experience the company of her fathers’ wisdom and presence.

The whole point of the trip wasn’t to go fishing and bring in fish it was to enjoy each other’s company. All too often we set off on our own because we misunderstand the idea of staying close to God, we think that he wants us to go do something for him, when all he really wants is to do something with us. If we misunderstand the purpose for his nearness we will miss the opportunity to be loved on a very intimate and personal level. God wants to spend quality time with his children.

Isn’t it funny that when we go off trying to prove something often we come back with counterfeit spoils. Whenever we think God is looking for some kind of accomplishment, or product, or work, we lose the point of spending time with him. As a result of spending time with my father I would have learned to fish and probably caught a few, and I would have walked away with joy in my heart knowing that it was a day well spent hanging out with my daddy. And on the plus side I wouldn’t have had to bait my hook all by myself. God wants our presence not our catch of the day. When we walk off trying to do some great thing to impress or please God or others we find ourselves often coming up short.

The girl in the story is me. For all those others who are prone to wander, who maybe want the title of best fisherman ever, to be praised for our accomplishments, or are so distracted by creation we miss the creator; let’s remember to wait upon the Lord, let’s remember to set aside time just to be with our Father. Not so that we can become great but so that we can bask in his greatness. And in the process we are transformed into his likeness, we learn to rest and we learn to listen to his voice.

 

Father, Thank you for your greatness, thank you that you let me wander but have never let me out of your sight. I know that I have had a hard time sitting still so I ask you to help me be seated with you. I want to spend time with you and I have felt you calling me for such a very long time. Bring me into your presence and help me to make that place my home. I love you so much, I feel as though I need to go and make you proud but I know that the thing that brings you the most joy is when I come with no expectations and just sit with you. Help me to be silent and to listen when you speak and to not try to fill the silent moments with noise. I just want to put my head on your chest and rest in you. Thank you that you are patient with me. And that you have waited for me. You overwhelm me with your goodness. I love you Father. Amen.