To my beautiful new mommy, mommy to be, mommy who has been, and the mommy of promise (The one who waits upon my promise of motherhood): this letter is for you.
I have seen you.
I have seen the tears that only your pillow and I know about.
I have heard the silent aches and whispers of an anxious heart that needs my voice to slow its rapid beating.
You have a few concerns. In fact so many concerns flood your thoughts that you don’t think I see them all.
Perhaps you are afraid because they often out number and out-weigh the good thoughts. Maybe you feel shame that you have lost hope in me through this difficult time.
But I am here to remind you that I am not angry with you.
I am well pleased with you my daughter.
I will not leave you during this time. But until we get my perfect love where it belongs, the unwanted fear will stay, and that is not my plan for you.
So how can I calm your beating heart? - I will reach you with my rod and my staff and I will comfort you. I will take the hook of my staff and pull you close to me. I will use the length of my rod to push you into the right direction even when the chaos of this world tries to convince you I have left. You will feel me.
Like a rock that tumbles down a snowy hill and gathers so much snow; its momentum turns it into a giant snowball. It started with a tiny rock of truth and with time it took something as harmless as snow and turned itself into a boulder with powerful destruction. But when we remember the rock itself is just the tiny core, my warming truth can melt it back down to the size it actually is.
Oh how my heart is engulfed with rage in how the enemy is stealing the dreams of my babies. It is as though this world gives my children a time limit to be dreamers and then says, "time is up". I will determine when your time is up, and until you breathe your last breath, will you please keep dreaming dreams. The time for dreaming to be over is when all your dreams have come true. And if your dreaming in me that wont happen until we are together in my everlasting kingdom. I have infinite dreams for those who will dream with me, I am an infinite God who dreamed of you, and you are made in my image. I want you to dream many dreams like you did as a child. You are my Child.
I don’t get angry when you try on a new outfit and say, "I want to be a doctor today." In fact by being a mom I am allowing you to play dress up every single day! You will get to be a nurse, a therapist, a musician, a cowgirl, a farmer, a chef, and bus driver, you will get to be a tour guide and an animal trainer, you will get to be a swim instructor and a story teller, an art teacher, an interior designer, a maid, a public speaker and the president of the United States of “Because I Told You So”. You are going to love this game of house because I remember your whole childhood, and when you were playing you were really dreaming of today.
I understand that some of your dreams are unique and special to you, like some of your toys when you were young, you would put in a special place and didn’t want to share with the other kids.
There are dreams that you have, that are like little secrets between you and me. You may not remember them but I do. I have a special place that I keep them. They are only yours and not for the other children.
They are not lost, but just to be safe I put them on a very high shelf in my heart to keep them for when you are ready. You see when you mommy, you want to give your family every single thing you have and this secret special treasure is not for giving away. So I place it somewhere safe for a season.
But when you can’t find it, you get scared that it is lost, you are scared that your identity is changing into something that you will not recognize, you are afraid of losing you. I promise you that it is impossible because that treasure is something I am holding onto. And when the time comes I will give it back. And I always give back and with interest.
I will keep them safe. They are not lost. For now it is time to play house for a while. And when you are tired take a rest in me and teach your family to do the same. For those babies that I have given you to nurture and love will be watching you and learning how to dream. And I will keep their dreams in safe place too!
Remember this: you are not losing who are, nor do you even have to wonder if you know who that is.
I know who you are and that is enough to give you rest.
I will hold your identity safely and securely in my heart for safe keeping. And when you get a little discouraged that you might be losing yourself in the midst of life, remember me and I will fill your heart with dreams once again.
Mommies don’t need to stop dreaming so their children can dream, they keep dreaming every day, they live the dream and their children learn how to dream by example. It is tiring to know your being watched by so many little eyes. So not only do you example how to dream, but how to rest. Dreams don't happen without rest. Rest. Example how to rest in the calm of my promises.
I love you so much. Dream in me again. Take back your promises, one dream at a time. And Rest in the comfort that I will keep you safe.
We can talk more about rest because I know you have more questions about that. We have so much more to talk about. But for now lets take it back a little at a time. You have a lot on your plate. I want to clear it and put my plate on top of yours so that you have enough room for all that you deserve. And you deserve all of my love for I created you to receive it.
I love you my daughter. I am keeping you (Who you are.) safe and secure.